Religous and Uncomfortable

[Prudent4me]

For the straight up questions (the short version) scroll to the bottom, if you want to read the long version--read on!

I am all for improved prostate health and want the benefits listed on this website that come from prostate massage(some more than others (a question below)). I am uncomfortable having orgasms/ejaculations/erections with out my wife's interaction...Got it--have her get involved, but the device on this site seems like a solo device (unless I use it only when we make love). Would it be provide the same overall health benefit if I only use it while we make love?

Now for the meat of this post, my wife has long wanted us to have regular intimate time with no strings attached--meaning she would like to kiss, cuddle and massage etc... with out feeling like it has to end in love making. I want to provide that for her with minimum frustration to her and me. I have told her I didn't see how I could provide what she desires unless she gives me a cookie first (code name for orgasm). It's the only way I see to avoid a vicious cycle that often ends in frustration. I need a good way to take away the heat that leads me to want a cookie after a moderate level of intimacy. My ideal is my wife giving me a cookie first, but that turns up the heat for her (among other things) to the point she wants a cookie (again a vicious cycle) thus she doesn't really get what she wants. So what's a loving husband to do?

From a personal and religous stand point, I don't want to have any involvement with any form of stimulation that is sexually pleasurable unless it involves my wife--elsewise it's akin to, if not, masturbation to me. I want to avoid anything that even comes close to masturbation. So my question is: Do the devices advertised here, primarily for "prostate health and massage," have the capability to empty the prostate without orgasm/ejaculation/erection (the max pleasure acceptable to me would have to be something akin to a back or foot massage given by someone I was in a strictly platonic relationship with)? If possible, am I right in thinking that it will give me an appropriate release, allowing me to give my wife what she desires--some lovin with no strings attached. Of course, the other appropriate release for me would be a cookie given me by my wife--which I know would allow hours of low heat lovin to follow. Again, the latter is problematic. What I don't know is if emptying my prostate through prostate massage is an appropriate release for me that would give me the same results as having a cookie(meaning will it release sufficient steam to allow me to be moderately intimate with my wife with out having a strong desire to make love after)?

I know this is long and drawn out, but I would appreciate if anyone could kindly help me understand what the real answers are--all the while framing it within the bounds that I have set for myself. Thanks in advance for your help.

The short version:

Would the PS device provide the same overall health benefit if I only use it while making love?

Do the devices advertised here, primarily for "prostate health and massage," have the capability to empty the prostate without orgasm/ejaculation/erection (the max pleasure I would like to see for me is something akin to a back or foot massage given by someone I was in a strictly platonic relationship with)?

What I don't know is if emptying my prostate through prostate massage is an appropriate release for me, and will it give me the same results as having an orgasm (eg. will it release sufficient steam to allow me to be moderately intimate with my wife with out having a strong desire to make love afterwards)?

The health benefits I'm most interested in is getting my prostate in shape and keeping it healthy especially if that means I don't have to get up during the night to go pee. I use to be able to make it through the nite with out having to get up to empty my bladder. Does prostate massage strengthen your prostate thus allowing you to avoid having to get up an empty your bladder during the night? If so, what's at work here? How does prostate massage help you regain that youthful endurance?

[Grandtiger]

Dear Prudent4me,

You have so many issues here I hardly know where to begin, but I'll start by saying that I'm a Christian and I assume that you are too. When we a free in Christ we are free indeed! But that of course does not give us license to sin. The problem is that Satan has deceived even the elect into believing that certain activities are sinful, especially when it comes to sexual pleasure whether alone or even with one's wife! We see from the New Testament that Gnosticism corrupted the early church with its heresies. Gnostics believed that while God created the soul, Satan created the body! Although this obvious lie is not accepted by the church today, it is still widely held that bodily pleasure is somehow sinful, and so most Christians assume that masturbation is sinful, and sex is not to be enjoyed unless for procreation. And so Satan keeps Christians in bondage regarding the most beautiful gift that God has bestowed upon us. I too lived in such bondage for much of my life.

Leviticus provides a detailed list of sexual sins, and masturbation is conspicuous by its absence. Please let me recommend a truly liberating Christian website to you that is for boys, but contains valuable information for adults too:

http://www.boysunderattack.com

And for married couples:

http://www.themarriagebed.com

The information on these websites may shock you initially, but I pray that you and your wife will both be blessed and helped greatly in your sexual relationship.

Regarding health, prostate massage is beneficial in preventing and treating benign prostate enlargement that plagues many men in later life, often due to sexual inactivity. Undoubtedly the prostate massage will be good for you. Now, be honest, if it were painful you would have no objection to it. So if you find it pleasurable, don't fight it, but rather thank God for this wonderful treatment, and enjoy! Of course you will still get the same health benefit if you only use it when having sex with your wife, as long as you have sex often as you should. But you can also use it alone however you desire without guilt. God has blessed us to be able to experience indescribable pleasure in our body. Accept His blessing and praise Him for it.

God bless you Prudent4me, and your dear wife too.

Grandtiger

[Dataryder]

I am all for improved prostate health and want the benefits listed on this website that come from prostate massage(some more than others (a question below)). I am uncomfortable having orgasms/ejaculations/erections with out my wife[...]

Unless I've got this completely wrong, I don't think using the devise necessarily gives you an orgasm (not me anyway); so it's not like masturbation at all. Because my wife's not into it, I've been giving myself the occasional prostate massage for over 3 years. I think of it as more of a health benefit. It keeps me healthy which is what's really important both to me and to my wife.

- Dataryder

[Prudent4me]

One other issue, my job often takes me away from home for long periods of time (been away about 2 weeks and have a little over 2 to go). It's during this time I wish I temporarily turn off sexual desires. Can prostate milking an non-sexually stimulating option? How?

[Grandtiger]

Prudent4Me, prostate massage will not take away sexual desire without some degree of pleasure. You obviously didn't hear a word I said. But if you insist on turning off sexual desire I suggest you take massive doses of antihistamines. You might also try taking hoodia to take away your appetite at the same time. Drink nothing except a few sips of water to swallow the antihistamines. I also suggest you use ear plugs and wear very dark glasses to avoid hearing or seeing anything that may be remotely pleasurable. Sackcloth and ashes would certainly help too.

Some mothers do have 'em ...

[Phil]

In my experience, prostate massage does not equal masturbation if it is done solely for health reasons. The drainage that occurs can support one's resolve to abstain from masturbation.

The key is to focus one's thoughts away from sexuality while using the device. If an erection results, you will need to concentrate especially hard on avoiding sexual thoughts. Think about things that you enjoy that are not sexual. As well, with time an experience, you can learn which internal muscles you can relax in order to remain flaccid.

You also need to avoid orgasm. But, if it happens accidently, I would view it as a venial sin.

The goal for those who need the release of seminal fluids, but who need to abstain from masturbation, is to facilitate a slow drainage of fluid without sexual thoughts and without the contractions of oragasm. Not easy to do. But, do try.

+ Fr. Phil

PS - For those who struggle to avoid masturbation - feel free to contact me if you want to discuss.

For those who feel that masturbation is perfectly OK, I respect your view but I do not agree. You will not change my mind and I will not change yours. Therefore, there is no need to contact me.

[Healthpositive]

Hello,

This subject really reveals how uncomfortable men are with their sexuality. This thinking is largely the reason so many men do not consult their doctors nor take proactive action to maintain their prostate health.

Women, seem to be more comfortable consulting their doctors when having problems with sex and physical problems.

Notice this question recently posted on a popular woman's health forum:
I seem to be aroused and regularly experience small orgasms during my yearly gyno exam. My dr. is womanly. Can she tell if am experiencing this?


What we learn from this question is that arousal is a natural process that can even occur during a medical exam. This woman has small orgasms during her exam. Is she masturbating? Of course not, she is having a medical exam. Should she feel guilty? No! The purpose of the exam is to protect her health not to masturbate.

The point is that prostate massage is a way to maintain your health and is not masturbation.

If a man has an orgasm or ejaculates while using the pro-state massager this result is the natural process of the body.

It is unfortunate that so many men are confused by their sexuality to the point of avoiding taking steps to protect their health.

Men must break free from thinking that makes them feel guilty about caring for their health.

If you went to an urologist and he/she performed a Digital Rectal Exam (prostate massage) would you conclude that the doctor masturbated you? You begin see how many men have silly notions about sexuality.


Prostate massage as alternative therapy

Prostate massage was once the most popular therapeutic maneuver used to treat prostatitis, but abandoned as primary therapy in the early 1970s.[8] Continuing research in emerging medical communities [9][10], published articles in non-medical circles [11][12], and anecdotal evidence on the internet shows that there is still interest in the technique as alternative therapy. In China, a 2008 survey of 627 urologists found that prostate massage is used prevalently as a nonpharmacological therapy for chronic prostatitis.


Learn more at: http://www.healthysensus.com/Prostate.aspx

Health Positive